Easter has just passed, and while everyone was focused on Jesus’ resurrection I was busy thinking about my personal “death” and “resurrection”.  I don’t know about you, but it seems that every 6-7 years, life presents us with a “breakdown”: grow through this experience or be doomed to repeat it in 6-7 years time! They say that after every breakdown, comes a break through, and I think that this is very true for all of us, especially spiritually. Without the break down, we would never be forced to break through!

Over the past months, I have been convinced that I need to focus on my spiritual well-being, putting God, as Source and Substance first in my life. I find this to be particularly challenging. Source: as in source of my

• income and substance,
• energy and health,
• emotions and feelings, and
• source of my thoughts.

If I focus on one aspect of my life, I typically exclude the Divine from other aspects, unconsciously. So, I constantly find myself “going it alone”, and then try to come back to center. When I remember that the Infinite is the source of my abundance and finances, I forget about my health and well-being. When I focus on Divine as source of my emotions, I get caught up in my thoughts.

Death: releasing and renewing

So, over Easter, I was busy contemplating: what do I need to release and let go of? What beliefs and thoughts and feelings no longer serve me? What would I be better of without?

And even more importantly, perhaps, what do I need to forgive and release? What baggage am I carrying around, emotionally and in my thoughts, that needs to “die” in me and be released?

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” — Buddha

The same goes for suffering, hurt and pain that we hold onto because it has become part of who we identify with. Who will I be if I let go of this? We talk about “renewal of our minds” and yet strangely consider it okay to hold on to those beliefs and habits which do not allow us to grow, renew and resurrect.

I started March on the right foot: a morning spent on World Day of Prayer in prayer and forgiveness. And yet, when we arrived at Easter, I was very aware that there was still work to be done in forgiveness and release. I needed to renew my mind even further. I needed to focus on forgiveness of self, and release and let go, so that I could move past mistakes of the past and grow.

Rising from the ashes like a phoenix:

We have developed, as a human race, many concepts of death and resurrection. We speak of rising like a phoenix from the ashes, and this symbolism exists across many cultures.  For the Greeks, it is the phoenix, but it is also the Benu bird of the Egyptians. For some, it is the Nimbus, closely related to the sun. The Jews has the Milcham, and the Persians had the Simurgh. Native Americans have the Thunderbird, Russians have a Firebird, and the Chinese have the Feng Huang. Finally, the Japanese have the HoHo bird. These are all symbols of resurrection after loss.

The phoenix is a legendary bird that can live for 500 years. Knowing that the end was near, the phoenix builds a funeral pyre for itself. It lies down on this pyre as it begins to die and burst into flames, consumed by the fire. Then, from the fire, the phoenix  emerges, renewed, purified, more beautiful and regal than before. And so the cycle of life would begin again, for another 500 years, dying, purifying, returning more beautiful than ever, into perpetuity.

And so, I have been ruminating about what has died or is dying in my life that it’s time to release?

What should I simply release and let go of, so that I can rise again, a more beautiful and better version of myself?

As a spiritual being in a human body, what does eternity and perpetuity look like?  If the Kingdom of Heaven is here: what does that look like in my life and experience?

Renewal & resurrection:

And so as Easter moves into Pentecost – a time in which we rejoice in the Oneness that we have with Wisdom and Comfort – I am invited to contemplate what my renewal and resurrection looks like.

• Who am I when I am the best version of myself, living as my Creator intended for me to live?
• Who am I after I have walked through the fire of purification, with eyes clearly fixed on my purpose?
• What does my spiritual self look like when I leave behind that which no longer serves me and commit to being the Light in this world?

As I live in Presence each day, committing to Peace in my life, I am assured that I have everything that I need.  That the source of my abundance and sustenance, my emotions & feelings, my thoughts and my bodily health is Perfect. I am simply asked to allow the Light to fill me and flow through me.