I’ve been walking a hard road over recent years, learning to live from a place of faith instead of fear. I recently wrote a post about the road of fear, and how my religious experiences as a child garnered more fear than faith!

Now, as I untangle all the old belief systems and build a new faith and connection with the Infinite, I am learning to trust – myself and the Divine.

Hours of soul-searching, introspection, and being alone invested listening for Spirit’s inner guidance. Healing, for me, has involved learning to walk (even in the shadows) and choose faith over fear.

The light of faith

Many times, this feels like walking along in the dark, holding a lamp or flashlight in my hand. I can only see the next step or a few steps ahead — never the whole path. I know where to step because I can see that step. But in order to find where the path is taking me, I have to continue walking forward, only ever seeing that one next step in the dim light.

Not everything is revealed at once – I don’t see it all before me as clear as day.

Perhaps this is faith.

But, what I have discovered in that place of quiet introspection – that place where I have begun to love, forgive and accept all of me – and see my own wholeness and healing – is that I can touch the light — however fleeting the moment.

I know what that light feels like – and I know that even if right now I am not experiencing it, somehow it is there.

It’s like the sun shining above the rainclouds – here it is cloudy and grey, but if I could get above the clouds, there would be blue skies and a perfect day! From there – I could see it all.

I am learning, as I practice silence and living in the presence of the Divine – that there can be inner peace. And as I sit in that knowing, I ask myself – if there were light and everything was clear as day – what would I choose?

If I believe, then how does this reflect in my choices?

Choosing to live by faith, rather than fear, has meant re-evaluating my life and values. As I have begun to understand the allness of Good – the unspeakable and unfathomable I AM – I have to redefine myself.

If that is what I believe in — then, what do I stand for?

What are my personal goals and do these align with what I stand for? Only then can I make a deep commitment to my goals and purpose – based on a solid awareness of what it will cost me to choose this path!

I can only love, accept and work with myself as I am now.

Today.

Not who I was yesterday. Not who I will become tomorrow. The only ME that has any power is me today. That is the only me that can be a co-creator in this process.

It requires of me that I see reality through that perfect lens – the one that is not broken or hampered by my fears: What inspired action will I choose?

What path will I follow?

When I can view reality with a full understanding of God and the Universe, seeing the underlying patterns in my life as well as the new opportunities that exist for me – what do I choose?

Where does faith start?

The truth that we are all seeking can never be found in the distractions and noise of the material and outer world.

The truth you seek is within.

In the Silence.

Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

Matthew 6:6 (MSG)

When we enter that “inner chamber”, that “closet”… closing the door on the world behind us – it’s not simply that others will not see us — it’s to ensure that we shut out all the distractions. It’s turning off the senses: smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight. It is stilling the mind, the inner critic, the conscious thought.

It is truly going into the “be still and know that I AM“.

In the stillness.

Closed off to all the world and its interruptions.

Faith starts in the spiritual realm – aligning spiritual thoughts with Infinite Goodness – and that, in turn, begins to manifest in your words and actions in the material realm.

That I may be whatever I may be

When I sit in that stillness of knowing that I WILL BE WHATEVER I WILL BE, I can begin to rewrite my story. I realise that allowing I AM to be I AM in me is the most powerful I will ever be.

For me.

Through me.

In me.

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

Ps. 82:6

I see a bigger picture, much bigger than just me and my experiences in life so far. I start to understand that aligning with my highest destiny is leaving a legacy much bigger than me.

But I have a role to play in this – one in which I develop and use my spiritual gifts. One in which I finally accept that I am a God-child and that I might just do greater things than these.

One in which I learn to choose in favour of faith, not fear. On this new path, I don’t make choices simply to avoid consequences or avoid pain. Instead, I choose faith and growth, knowing that there may be pain or fear on this path. Knowing I might be uncomfortable, beyond my comfort zone.

And yet, beginning to believe that perhaps everything I ever could be, I already had within me.

“The goal towards which [God] is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal…. He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine.”

C.S. Lewis