Category: Spiritual Growth

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Unbelievable victory comes when you transform and renew your mind

Beth - blogger, coach, consultantLeave a comment

I’m just finishing reading, with my book club, Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself“. It challenged me to renew my mind and transform my way of being!

Dr. Joe’s book is a deep dive into neuroscience, quantum relationships, the Divine, and how to truly draw change to yourself by becoming aligned with what you are asking for.

We are told to be transformed by the renewing of our minds – and this is exactly the exercise that Dr. Joe takes you through!

Break the habits of your usual way of feeling, of thinking and of acting in the world, in order to experience a new way of showing up – be transformed by the renewing of your midn!

I believe miracles change and transform us. But so many times I fall into the trap of waiting for a miracle to happen for me, without doing my part! The hard school of knocks teaches that blessings flow more freely to me when I focus my energy, attention and effort on the outcome.

If you want to walk on water – you will have to get out of the boat!

Sometimes, the effort required is spiritual focus, but most times there is a physical or material aspect of expressing our faith as more than just prayer.

Because I believe, all things are possible for me.
Because I believe, all things are possible for me.

This applies to our transformation journey and the renewing of our minds as it does to other miracles we await!

Awareness: the first step of transformation & renewal

The first step in renewing your mind is awareness: what needs to change?

Dr. Joe offers some very practical examples of where to start. Start with the emotions that keep you stuck and on repeat. Particularly those feelings you cannot control. These are feelings triggered by situations and circumstances, perhaps by relationships and interactions.

Focus on the feelings that remind you how human you are and how much you still need to transform.

Personally, I don’t believe any emotions are “bad” or should even be labelled as “negative”. Nonetheless, some feelings are not helpful when they control us and take over our reactions. These feelings can run amok and ruin the show.

When this is the case, we need to break the habits and be transformed and renew our minds!

Why do we need awareness?

Let me give you a quick example:

Sit down and take a few deep breaths. Remember a moment when you were truly happy and joyful. In your mind, rebuild the memory with as many details as you can.

Notice how you begin to feel in your body and emotionally as you focus your thoughts and mind on this memory.

Now, remember something that made you mad or sad or upset you. Build with as many details as you can remember the entire scene – who was there, where and when was it, and what happened as it unfolded. Notice how you now feel in your body.

Notice how your emotions have changed, as you’ve changed the focus of your thoughts.

Our thoughts influence our emotions and our emotions influence our thoughts!

Becoming aware of feelings & emotions

I vigilantly nurture my heart because I know that from it flows the spring of life.
I vigilantly nurture my heart, because I know that from it flows the spring of life.

The emotions that typically control our habitual responses are:

  • anger
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • bitterness or resentment
  • shame
  • guilt
  • unworthiness
  • judgment

I don’t know about you, but for most of these, I was taught I “shouldn’t” feel this way. To a large extent, then, I would ignore and push down these feelings, rather than acknowledging them.

I would say a prayer, and ask God to take the feeling away… as if I were powerless. God needed to take it away – that’s what salvation was, right? There was nothing I could do about it!

As I’ve matured and grown, I’ve realised that this was very irresponsible of me.

While there is a surrendering and handing over to the Divine: there is also an essential part of ownership and responsibility. We play an important role in the transformation & renewing of our mind.

Awareness is accepting that we are feeling this emotion and that it is interfering with in our spiritual transformation. It separates us from ourselves, from others and from God.

Name it:

I feel… and when I feel this way I start thinking about…

Awareness of my patterns of thought

The second step of breaking the habits and pattern is to notice how our feelings drive our thoughts (and also notice how our thoughts drive our feelings).

Consider what pattern or loop of emotion/thought you regularly get stuck in. Notice how the emotion feels in your body as well as the typical thoughts that go along with it.

Perhaps you are feeling victimised and that you don’t have control. Your thoughts might be

  • Why do things like this always happen to me?
  • What did I do to deserve being treated this way?
  • How come I always get the short end of the stick?
  • When am I going to catch a break?

Or perhaps you feel fearful and anxious. Your thoughts might be catastrophizing and awfulizing, making up the stories of everything in the future that could go wrong.

You might feel guilt or shame, in which case you keep replaying a loop in your mind of what you did wrong in the past.

I calm and quieten my soul.
I calm and quieten my soul.

Take a little time to sit in silence and ask Spirit to speak to you about what is the emotion and thought pattern that you need to break.

Awareness: the feelings-thoughts-feelings loop

There is a reason that we stay stuck in this loop of thoughts and emotions – it’s what we are used to. What we know. And no matter how “bad” it is for us, we may be afraid of what is on the other side of change!

This is a comfortable and safe place – no matter how uncomfortable it is or how much we want to transform!

Ego keeps us in the same loops. Spirit moves us in a spiral of growth – small steps forward in growth and change.

We are each called to be more – to be transformed and renewed.

Desiring change and transformation

We cannot change the past and we have no control over the future. The only moment in which you can transform and renew your mind is this moment.

Now.

The present.

I am ever mindful of the present moment. This is the moment of my power and is the only moment in which my heart may find wisdom.
I am every mindful of the present moment. This is the moment of my power and is the ony moment in which my heart may find wisdom.

You can make a daily habit of transformation and renewal, but there will be practice and discipline required of you.

Being in this moment.

Each and every day.

Wanting to change isn’t enough

Desiring change is not enough. Praying and asking God to change you is not enough – unless you are willing to let go of the way you were.

There’s a reason that after each healing Jesus would say “Go, and sin no more“.

Break the habit of who you used to be and start to live from this new place of having been transformed by the renewing of your mind, feeling a new way, and doing things differently. It’s not just the external – the actions. It’s the inner work: feelings and thoughts.

Willingness to change: surrender to the Divine

Part of the willingness to change is surrender. There is a part that you do… and there is a part where you have to simply have faith that the transformation is happening no matter that you cannot see it.

I surrender to the Divine.
I surrender ot the Divine.

In 2018 I started a practice of silence. Of just sitting and focusing on my breath – being present – for 20-30 minutes each day.

In 2020, amid the chaos, a friend pointed out to me that I was unflappable… and I realised that I had a peace that I could not explain or understand!

I was content to trust and surrender what was out of my control to the Divine.

I couldn’t tell you WHEN that happened. I simply adopted the daily practice and trusted the process. The peace in my heart appeared when I needed it the most.

Transforming the Heart

Once you have become aware of what you are leaving behind, allow your heart to sit with what you want and desire to feel.

  • Perhaps you want the peace that passeth all understanding.
  • Maybe you desire to be filled with Divine Love.
  • Or you might just want to trust and surrender.

When you get your new heart and are driven by a new emotion – what would you like that to be?

For example, one of the emotions that I was working on was fear. And I wanted to transform that into trust and courage. Another emotion that I have worked on is shame, and I wanted to transform that into love and acceptance.

What do I desire?

Allow yourself to sit in the silence and listen to your heart.

Renew a right spirit within me.
Renew a right spirit within me.

When you are connected to Source in the silence, what does the Creator want for you?

Discovering my Divine Purpose

An even bigger question that you might be willing to sit with is “What is my Divine Purpose?”. Where does your heart feel lead when it is completely connected with Spirit?

The Divine works in me. Divine Will leads me. I work for Divine pleasure.
The Divine works in me. Divine Will leads me. I work for Divine pleasure.

The answer might take some time (days, weeks or even months) to clarify.

Choosing peace & joy:

No matter what you decide, ultimately, you want to quieten your emotions and the ego mind, so that you can sit in silence with Spirit.

It is here that you will be open to receiving what the Creator has for you. The final outcome of whatever transformation and renewing of your mind will be a deep inner peace and a contentment that supersedes any situation of what is happening to you.

Transforming my mind:

Once you have decided on the new emotion you want to feel, notice what kind of thoughts you have when you feel this way. Imagine, for example, that you were feeling fear and you choose that now you want to feel courage.

Consider the last time you felt courageous, and notice what you were thinking about. Where did your thoughts center when you felt courageous?

What do I choose to focus on?

Divine peace is with me. I practice focusing on what is true, just, honourable, & lovely.
Divine peace is with me. I practice focusing on what is true, just, honourable and lovely.

We are reminded time and time again in the Bible “think on these things”. As you will have noticed, there’s a reason why we focus our thoughts on these things: by focusing our thoughts, we can focus our emotions.

But, it’s not an ostensible thinking on these things – from a place of self-righteousness or judgement.

The ony person who you are transforming by the renewing of your mind is yourself!

So, keep the thoughts and focus real!

When you think on “what is true” – consider the reality of what you are facing and notice your perspective and the stories you have told yourself in the past about the situation. Ask yourself “is this true?” and if it is not, then consider other perspectives of what might be true.

For example, perhaps someone looks at you funny. Your first thought might be: “they don’t like me”. Is this true? Perhaps they were looking away from something else and merely happened to glance in your direction and didn’t actually even see you (like when someone is looking off into the distance).

Keep it real.

Affirmations of faith:

I love using affirmations, spoken out loud. But they need to resonate with me on a deep level. When I say them, I notice how I respond to them: am I doubting them? How could I reword them in a such a way that they are true for me at this time?

Renew the spirit of your mind. Put on the new self! Speak the truth!
Renew the spirit of your mind. Put on the new self! Speak the truth!

So, many times, instead of saying “I am ….” I will say “I am learning to be …”. This is true and I can affirm it without question! Eventually, I will reach a point where I an truthfully say “I am…” and it will no longer raise within me resistance.

I am also much more carefully now what I choose to read and where I choose to invest my time. GIGO = garbage in, garbage out.

I choose - each day - what I consume and digest; what I allow in. I then choose how I express myself in this world.
I choose – each day – what I consume and digest; what I allow in. I then choose how I express myself in this world.

Finally, I look closely at my gifts and strengths – these were given to me with purpose! I affirm these gifts and strengths, and focus on using them and allowing them to help me on my way. It’s not that I ignore my weaknesses – but each of us has been given gifts to help us on this journey.

I fan the flames of Divine gifts. My spirit is not one of fear, but of power and love and sound mind.
I fan the flames of Divine gifts. My spirit is not one of fear, but of power and love and sound mind.

Imagining and envisioning a new way:

Finally, I invite you to begin to envision and imagine yourself reacting to situations in a new way. We are creatures of habit.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Aristotle

Each day, take a moment to envision and see yourself walking in faith and responding from a place of a transformed and renewed mind. Believe that as you practice this, practicing responding in new ways each day, that you will be transformed and renewed.

My faith makes me well.
My faith makes me well.

It is an act of faith to work on this transformation each and every day without seeing the end result immediately.

Renewing my mind:

As you learn to refocus your mind, your emotions will also change to match these thoughts.

I set my mind on Spirit, where there is life and peace.
I set my mind on Spirit, where there is life and peace.

Rewriting neural pathways

Neuroscience teaches us that we can teach an old dog new tricks – our brains are constantly learning new pathways. They become shortcuts (the path of least resistance) when we use them repeatedly.

The more often you choose to go down a particular thought path, the easier it becomes to repeat this, especially in situations of stress or when you “aren’t thinking”.

The time for learning a new habit – rewriting your thoughts – is daily. When you are in the midst of chaos and a situation that would normally set you off, you will have a brief moment in which you become aware that you have a choice: and the choice that you make at that moment will also have a huge impact on how your brains and your emotions learn!

Will you choose to do things as you have always done them?

Or will you choose the new path – the transformation because you have renewed your mind?

Conclusions:

We are promised that we will be given new hearts and that Divine law will be written in our minds.

I hold this to be true.

Divine Law is gently and compassionately placed in my heart. It is written in my mind.
Divine Law is gently and compassionately place in my heart. It is written in my mind.

But I am also aware that I have to be open to the transformation happening – I have a role to play in ensuring that I don’t fall back into my old habitual ways of thinking and feeling.

My heart will remain soft, vulnerable and tender since I am willing to keep it vulnerable and tender. How will I choose to respond when life throws me a curveball?

Will I remain open and teachable?

I have received a new heart. My heart of stone was removed, and I welcomed a heart of flesh - soft, vulnerable, and tender.
I have received a new heart. My heart of stone was removed, and I welcomed a heart of flesh – soft, vulnerabe and tender.

How will I know that I have truly been transformed by the renewing of my mind?

Am I choosing each day to focus on being open to the Divine – in remaining in awe and wonder of Creation?

Do I choose silence each day or do I keep myself so busy that I don’t listen and see? God is never going to talk to me about transforming and renewing someone else’s mind or changing their behaviour: the small, still voice will always be gently chastening me about what needs to change and align in my life!

Is my delight in this relationship with Spirit?

My delight is in the reverence of the Divine.
My delight is in the reverence of the Divine.

I will love God with all my heart, mind and soul

Can I say that I am filled with Divine Love?

This is the ultimate test… the holy grail of where I aspire to be and grow into.

Are my thoughts and emotions completely aligned with this love?

I am Divine Love. It is through love that I know the Divine. I choose to love others.
I am Divine Love. It is through love that I know the Divine. I choose to love others.

And I will love my neighbour as myself:

Love one another.
Love one another.
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Ten years searching for Wisdom: creative compassion and courage to act

Beth - blogger, coach, consultantLeave a comment

In one of the very first posts I ever wrote for this blog, I mentioned the 10-year challenge of “gaining wisdom”. And this year, as I finished re-reading for the third time “mBraining: using your multiple brains to do cool stuff“, I was reminded that wisdom is both material (on the earthly plane) as well as having a spiritual element to it.

Wisdom comes when we apply creative compassion to creative action. In fact:

Generative wisdom is far more than just having wise insights from your life experiences.

Soosalu & Oka, “mBraining”

It is not an end state of being wise, but rather an ongoing process, one that continually transforms who you are.

I cannot stress this enough: wisdom must be embodied in pragmatic action. The same way that we show our faith by our works and deeds, we embody our wisdom in action and the decisions that we make each and every day.

All knowing is doing, inspired action, take action, compassionate courage, smart courage, deep thought, thought leads to action
All knowing is doing. Dr. Humberto Maturana

Most of us that were brought up in churches can easily recite that to love God is to love our neighbour and to love our brother, no matter who they might be. We are likewise challenged to bless those who curse us.

It is not enough to be able to recite the Bible verse that says this, but rather to actually do it – in the midst of the emotional chaos and turmoil of conflict and upheaval.

It’s easy to be at peace and in harmony with God and others when you are sitting quietly, meditating and in prayer. But true wisdom is being able to hold that same inner peace in the midst of the unrest of every day triggers and people who would typically anger us or make us feel fearful.

I’ll show you my faith by my works is not simply about doing good deeds: but rather it is living that life of faith and Divine Wisdom in all moments of challenge.

The process of acquiring true wisdom is not one of studying and memorisation (although that is no doubt where it begins): it is in changing our responses and choosing a new way of acting and reacting in the world.

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.
The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. Albert Einstein

The beginning of wisdom

This journey for me, into transformation and change, began with the search to understand “the fear of the Lord”. As a child, I had it hammered into me that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Unfortunately, my understanding of “fear of the Lord” was heavily tainted by my understanding of the word “fear”. And my understanding of “the Lord” was much influenced by the descriptions of a terrible God sitting on a throne “in heaven” surrounded by “a host of angels” that were ready to send anyone and everyone to hell.

It was much more of a Machiavellian description of “tis better to be feared than loved”, than an understanding of awe, presence and communion. I certainly viewed God as being dangerous and painful. While I was perfectly capable of saying “God loves you”, it had quite the “domestic violence kind of love” written all over it. Unfortunately, I experienced a traumatic view of authority, which clouded and overwrote my views on God.

It has been hard for me to change and learn a new definition of Divine Love. One of the many reasons that you will find me referring more to “Divine” and “Source” rather than “God” and “the Lord” in this blog is that I am aware that I am not the only one that still has wounds to heal. I am perfectly clear in my mind that these are man-made wounds, by men (and women) who purported to be godly and “loving”. And horridly, wretchedly human.

I came close to throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

It is so much easier to say “God did this” than to take the time to separate the humanity of (mostly) well-intentioned, badly misguided men and women, and simply turn your back on the Divine.

Finding my way back to accepting Divine Love and living in that Presence has been a challenge: one in which I have had to be open and vulnerable to healing and change over these past ten years.

Forgiveness and learning to love and accept myself have been difficult lessons to live by.

A peace that passes understanding

And yet, in 2020, I had a year in which to come to grips with “how far I’ve come”. You might notice that there has been a hiatus in posting (for months on end).

Part of this was overwhelm with all that was happening in the world. Another part was being drawn into the shadows of “This is where you need to shine more light in your life and allow healing to take place. This is what you are holding onto and it’s time to let go of.”

The beauty of 2020, for me, was that I discovered that somehow, over the last decade, I had discovered “a peace that passes all understanding”. Accidentally tripped over it during the chaos.

While I contemplated questions like:

  • What is truly important?
  • How does the way I am living my life reflect my values?
  • What do I trust in and where is my faith place?

I discovered that I had come to a deeper understanding of the simplicity of Source versus channel.

The Source of abundance, health and well-being is the Divine. The channels through which I may receive abundance can be a job, independent contracting or even gifts.

When I found my channels placed in jeopardy by the chaos of 2020, I suddenly discovered that my faith and trust had moved. I was no longer trusting in myself and my ability to create income: I had an inner peace I had never experienced before of “my Source” would provide a new channel.

Likewise, I’ve had to face thoughts and challenges regarding my attitudes towards health and wellness. I live from a place of responsibility: I am 100% responsible for my health and wellness and taking care of myself.

Ideas without action are worthless, inspired action, take action, wisdom is doing, compassionate wisdom, courageous action, courageous compassion, compassionate creativity
Ideas without action are worthless! Harvey Mackay

Nonetheless, the question arose: but where am I putting my faith?

Is my faith limited to what I can control and what I can do for myself? Or is it in something bigger than me? Can I trust in my Creator that I am wonderfully made and that all my cells and organs respond and vibrate to a Divine vibration of health and wellness?

Letting go: moving with inspiration

For most of us, 2020 gave us the challenge and opportunity to let go of life as we knew it (and planned it), and to turn our trust into a Divine purpose and process.

Most of us can quote many a verse that reminds us that everything that is happening is for us. But what does wisdom really look and feel like in the face of uncertainty?

There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.
There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there. Paolo Coelho

In part, we have to be willing to let go of what was to step into what could be. This requires changes at so many levels:

  • from the heart: starting with love and compassion for ourselves and for others around us;
  • in our heads: minding our thoughts, especially the doubts, awfulisations and catastrofising that we do;
  • and in our guts: being willing to gently release the tight grip we have on our identity “this is who I am” and grow into a new creation.

On a spiritual level, it requires that we be reminded that we are souls having a human experience. Our spirits are searching for Oneness with the Divine – living constantly in that Divine Presence, rather than separated from. And yet the human experience teaches us that we are individual and separate from each other and from God. We are constantly trying to get back to God.

Creative compassion

Divine Love, especially in moments like these, invites us to get in touch with God’s plan and purpose in our lives. Each one of us has been given unique talents and gifts that are not shared by others.

Likewise, most of us have passed through levels of preparation. What life lessons have you learned that have moulded you into the person you are today?

Creative compassion invites us to have a look at everything we have to offer, as well as our heart’s desires, and ask:

What is truly on my heart?

This might include questions or thoughts of the following nature:

  • What might it be like to live in alignment with Divine Will?
  • How can I use all the gifts, talents and experiences I have been given to serve others?
  • Who am I drawn to serving?

Many of us, don’t have immediate clarity. Some, of course, get called similar to what we’ve read in the Bible:

  • Jonah – told exactly who to go to and what to say to them;
  • Jeremiah – given visions and messages
  • Peter – called by Jesus to leave his nets

Some of us might end up with an experience like Esther, put in a position where we only discover it’s purpose when there is a crisis “I was put here for such a time as this”. Others might experience hardship like Joseph, only to be called “when it’s time”.

Most of us, on the other hand, have nothing quite so concise. Life is much more mundane and subtle.

Are we listening for those callings?

Perhaps, like the Good Samaritan, we are simply called to go about our business and just help others anonymously when they are put in our path.

The only questions we have to ask ourselves is: am I living this life from a place of compassion for myself & others? Do I allow Divine Love to flow through me as a conduit and channel for others?

Sometimes the calling is simply to follow a new line of study or preparation, without knowing the end purpose. Can you trust the Divine to take that step without being able to see the full path ahead?

A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do. Nothing else. Gandhi
A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do. Nothing else. Gandhi

It takes courage to act when called:

Without action there is no true wisdom.

As James said, it is not simply about hearing “the Word” or memorising it. It’s no good to spout it out to others or recite it.

The true change happens when we allow it to change our heart: to give up our heart of stone and allow it to be replace with a heart of flesh. A hear that is vulnerable, open, soft and gentle.

When this happens, we learn to think in new ways. And as we begin to think in new ways, we learn to talk differently. We see through new eyes, with compassion and empathy.

It takes courage to allow Divine Love to change and transform our lives. In many cases, this means letting go of any hatred or fear that we have been harbouring. To start to let go of fear, we have to acknowledge and accept that we are afraid.

When I’m honest with myself: fear is usually about situations beyond my control. Like most of the things that happened in 2020. Letting go of that fear requires that I learn “fear of the Lord” in a new way: trust in the invisible.

And only now am I discovering that level of courage to have faith. I haven’t figured out my “calling”, but for now, I’m willing just to take the one next step that is clear on the path ahead and trust that the rest will be revealed when I’m ready.

Inspirations:

The fear of I AM THAT I AM is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Divine One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

Proverbs 9:10-11
The fear of I AM THAT I AM is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Divine One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many and years will be added to your life.
The fear of I AM THAT I AM is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Divine One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many and years will be added to your life. Proverbs 9:10-11

Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.

Proverbs 19:2
smart compassion, smart courage, taking inspired action, Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.
Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way. Proverbs 19:2

5 Trust in I AM THAT I AM with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in I AM THAT I AM with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek Divine will in all you do, and the Divine will show you which path to take.
Trust in I AM THAT I AM with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek Divine will in all you do, and the Divine will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

So get rid of your feelings of hatred. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy and talking about others behind their backs.

1 Peter 2:1
feelings, hatred, pretend, be good, dishonesty, jealousy, talking about others behind their backs
So get rid of your feelings of hatred. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy and talking about others behind their backs. 1 Peter 2:1
All knowing is doing
All knowing is doing. Dr. Humberto Maturana
wisdom, change, intelligence, divine love, The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. Albert Einstein
The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. Albert Einstein
ideas without action are worthless
Ideas without action are worthless! Harvey Mackay
There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.
There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there. Paolo Coelho
A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do. Nothing else.
Gandhi
We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell
We keep brainstorming options and plans, but Divine Purpose prevails.
We keep brainstorming options and plans, but Divine Purpose prevails. Proverbs 19:21
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The value of true detachment, not spiritual bypassing

Beth - blogger, coach, consultant5 Comments

As spiritual beings having a human experience, we get attached and tied to things, relationships and stuff. In fact, we begin to measure our own value by that attachment. And then, when a relationship breaks, or we fail at something, we somehow believe that we are a failure. We are no longer worthy.

Attachment is the source of all suffering.

Buddha

People, places and things can ruin us unless we can learn to live in a state of detachment. Not detachment as “I don’t care”, in a disconnected way. But detached in the sense of no longer needing to have control over the outcome. That place where you can honestly say, I trust that all is well.

Let go and let God.

Can you enter that place where you release your perceptions, beliefs, expectations of how things should turn out? Can you experience life as it is, even when that’s not how you hoped it would be? In some cases, this means feeling your emotions, then letting them go. It might include establishing emotional boundaries, rather than giving away your power to others.

Can you detach from the material world and simply trust that all is well?

The love of money is the root of all evil.

1Tim. 6:10

Take a moment and consider your spiritual practices – whether it’s prayer, meditation, singing, chanting, study or silence. What is the purpose of your practice, and how has it helped you heal?

Contemplate how you can practise healthy detachment from relationships, situations or even thought patterns and habits because of these spiritual practices.

Are they really working for you?

Or are you merely going through the motions of being busy in spiritual practice to avoid doing the deep work of facing your shadows, pain, guilt and shame?

What is spiritual bypassing?

A spiritual bypass is a defence mechanism we use, which effectively distracts us from experiencing the present moment. It’s what we do when we get busy so that we can ignore our feelings.

Do you find yourself using spiritual bypassing to shield you from the ugly truth of what you really feel? Perhaps you keep telling yourself, I obviously need to pray more, because I shouldn’t feel this way. You stuff it or swallow it down so that it doesn’t show.

Are you “checking out” by studying more, reading more, and learning more, instead of checking in with your feelings? How long do you think you can go on saying “I’m fine”, rather than acknowledging that you really aren’t okay?

Perhaps you tell yourself it’s self-care, even, when it’s really just avoidance. You become a Pharisee, busy following all the rules, without ever really experiencing the cleansing flood of tears and true healing.

The reality is that spiritual healing doesn’t typically happen when you are reading, studying, in prayer, singing or in meditation. Healing occurs in the middle of an argument – when you remember to pause before you say something hateful.  Rebuilding yourself comes after a breakdown or loss, walking down the beach, crying silent tears. In the middle of life, you find grace and mercy to cleanse your soul, heal your emotions, and refocus your thoughts.

Bypassing your unresolved trauma, wounds & issues

While you might try to outrun the pain and forgetting it, spirituality is not about “feeling good” or “being positive”. Pain in life is inevitable, and your spiritual practice is not intended to numb the pain but to truly heal it.

Have you noticed that 40% of the Psalms are about pain suffering and lament? When was the last time you read Job or even the book of Jonah?

And yet we tell ourselves:

Don’t be a Debbie Downer.

When we live in a culture that says “just use your positive affirmations”. Claim your power.  All the while, you fail to acknowledge that you are angry, fearful and irritable. Because we hide it, we side-step the healing process for emotional, mental and psychological wounds.

Perhaps you are telling yourself “I forgave them”, but still feel the resentment, hurt and anger. And in your confusion of “I shouldn’t feel this way”, you bottle it up and swallow it down, rather than acknowledging the truth that you haven’t done enough work to forgive and release. Sometimes there is much deeper healing work that needs to take place, but it makes us too uncomfortable, so we settle for the spiritual bypass that lets us off the hook.

shadow work, healing the pain, release the pain, trauma, emotional hurt

The potential harm of false positivity

I believe in positive affirmations. They are intense and influential; they have a fantastic role to play. But you can’t fake healing! It’s like painting over a structural crack in the wall: the paint job just won’t hold the building up!

If you want to grow and flourish, you can’t avoid the painful experiences of life. More often than not, it’s not in deep meditation that you find your growth, but when you’re angry, frustrated and upset – and you breathe for a moment. You recognise that you have space to choose your response. That’s where your growth happens.

Of course, you can only achieve this is you have the awareness to acknowledge that you are feeling angry, frustrated and upset. Have you created a safe space in which you can feel pain, sadness or even depression? Is it okay, in your world, to not be okay? Can you admit and ask for help when you need it, whether it be therapy, coaching or spiritual counselling?

We don’t need to hear any more “you shouldn’t feel like that” – but rather the helping hands that say “I see that you feel this way”, now let’s help you move through this.

I love one of the acronyms I learnt through mBraining (most likely from Vikki Coombes, who probably learnt it from Grant Soosalu):

PAIN =
Please
Acknowledge
Information
Now

When you are feeling pain – what is the information that it is inviting you to acknowledge?

Shadow work and healing

Are you scared of the dark? Are you afraid to face your guilt and shame, hiding from the pain and ugly aspects of your life? Do you tell yourself to move on, without really doing the work? There is a moment when we stop digging and move on. But not by studiously ignoring it when it needs to be addressed. Not through spiritual bypassing.

explore your inner darkness, shadow work, healthy detachment, true detachment, spiritual bypassing

Can you explore your inner darkness, sit with it and then release it?

To start on the healing process, we have to acknowledge it exists. Stop denying a part of yourself and turning a blind eye to those parts of yourself that you don’t want to see.

You cannot heal what does not exist. So, your first step in the healing process is to allow it into your awareness, acknowledge it, feel it. Carl Jung referred to this dark part we deny as the shadow self. It might be anger, lust, envy, pain, sadness, anxiety or depression. Generally, these are emotions we feel and thoughts we have, that we have labelled as “wrong”. We tell ourselves “I shouldn’t feel this way any more”, and so we begin to hide them, even from ourselves.

Detachment is what happens when we acknowledge it, but don’t get caught up in it. Be willing to see it, and see yourself experience it, and then allow it to go, rather than engulfing you.

Allow yourself to ask these questions:

  • What do I feel?
  • When did this start?
  • What were the events that triggered this? Which events in my present life are continuing to trigger this?
  • Why am I ashamed of feeling this way?
  • What part of my identity – who I think I am – requires me to hold onto this? Who would I be if I released this?

Let go and let God

Yes, it’s cliché. But it’s also healthy detachment.

You are not your pain. Or your anger. That is not your identity. It is an emotion you have felt or are continuing to experience. Can you feel it and then let it go?

Can you see yourself disconnecting from that emotion that controls your life? Could you take it one step further and see yourself disconnecting from the people that trigger this response in you and allowing them to control your life?

It’s easy to mistake connection and attachment. Connecting with others is essential. Attachment, however, brings in elements of control and expectations. We get tangled in a web and lose our identity.

Detaching allows you to step back, and see how you can connect with others compassionately, without attachment. With no control or expectations of what should be. It allows you to say “I don’t need you, but I can love you, compassionately“.

In this very same way, can you look in the mirror and see yourself without expectations? Could you acknowledge the shadow self and love yourself just as you are? This is where the healing starts.

Just let go and be with I AM.

Generational trauma, generational curses, how to heal the past with love, using forgiveness to break the cycle, breaking the cycles, epigenetics, how trauma is passed through your genes, reap what you sow, nature or nurture, learned behaviour, mental illness, depression, stress, anxiety, low cortisol levels, insecurity, neurobiology, the sins of the fathers, acknowledgement, awareness, acceptance, forgiveness and release, learning a new way, break the cycle, it didn't start with you, ptsd, chronic pain syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, depression and anxiety, neuroscience, physiological change, evolution

Generational Trauma: How to heal the past with love

Beth - blogger, coach, consultant1 Comment

I recently read and posted this comment, reflecting on how 2019 has been the best worst year of my life… or possibly the worst best year of my life. I haven’t quite made up my mind which it is!

Some of you are breaking generational curses and you don’t even know it. That’s why your attack has been so hard.

Unknown

And how it has felt like a struggle this year, but in a great way. I know I have done some deep healing work and growth, but it has also felt dark and dirty. Like weeding the garden – you get sweaty, dirty and now there’s gunk under my nails that doesn’t want to simply wash off!

Part of me, the part that grew up as a missionary kid, automatically hears in my head those verses from Exodus, Numbers & Deuteronomy:

Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me

Deuteronomy 5:9

Of course, with modern psychology and even neuroscience, we begin to understand a new application of what happens. There is nature and there is nurture – what we inherit through our genes and biologically, as well as what we learn from our parents, grandparents and community as we grow up.

Earlier this year, I was working with a few girlfriends, addressing some of those generational issues that were coming up and keeping us stuck – visiting the experiences of our parents and grandparents and forgiving them or those that had harmed them. It felt dark and intense. But very liberating as well.

Consider these 2 examples:

Case 1: 1874

In 1874, the New York State Prison Board discovered that they have 6 members of the same family locked up at the same time. Mere coincidence? Looking back, all the way to 1720, they found a town trouble-maker and his less-than-lovely wife, who had 6 daughters and two sons. From those, by 1874, they had 1200 descendants.

  • 310 were homeless
  • 180 had drug or alcohol abuse problems
  • 160 were involved in prostitution
  • 150 had spent time in prison, 7 for murder

Case #2: 1874

Nonetheless, another couple, going back to 1703 had 11 children. His name was Jonathan Edwards, and as a family man and caring for his education, he went on to be the President of Princeton University. By 1874, they had 1400 descendants.

  • 13 college presidents
  • 65 university professors
  • 100 lawyers and 32 state judges
  • 85 authors
  • 80 politicians, including 3 state governors, 3 senators, and 1 President
  • 66 doctors

Is this nature?
Is it nurture?
Or perhaps a mix of both?

generational curses, generational trauma, epigenetics

Generational trauma & the study of epigenetics

Some of the most interesting work that is being done at the moment is in epigenetics, cellular biology, and neurobiology. In mice, the effects of trauma on the DNA and gene sequencing can be seen for up to 14 generations. But, on a more tangible level, we have scientists like Dr. Rachel Yehuda, from Mt. Sinai Medical in New York, studying the effects of trauma and PTSD on the children and grandchildren of those who suffered in the holocaust. The effects of the stress and trauma can be transmitted biologically up to three generations.

Similarly, we see the effects on the human body of those who have suffered through famine or war and political unrest. Have you dug deeper into your family tree and had a good look at the biological and environmental factors that affected your childhood, your parents and your grandparents? What stories did you hear? Or perhaps, more importantly, what stories would they refuse to speak of?

We read in the Bible that we reap what we sow… but sometimes we reap what others have sowed… and worse yet, sometimes we reap what others have been the victim of! Sometimes the changes in genetic traits works in our favours, and sometimes it might be considered a flaw. We might inherit genes for strength or we might be prone to certain syndromes or diseases.

Just remember this: when your grandmother was pregnant with your mum, you were there as an embryo experiencing the world. Of course, biology allows us to know that at the moment of inception, a “cleaning” takes place, which for the most part should take care of most of those “anomalies”. But that’s not always the case.

The vestiges of the US Civil War

Furthermore, as studies of the sons of men from the Civil War exhibited, there are also experiences that were specifically transferred down through the Y chromosome (only to the sons and not to the daughters). Whether it was the stress or the malnutrition that the father’s suffered is not yet known, but without a doubt, the sons of those who had been in prison camps died younger than those who were not prisoners.

Without a doubt, trauma in previous generations can alter genes and their expression in future generations. The reason (the story) for the trauma gets lots, but the behaviours and the symptoms are passed down. Our bodies, in order to manage stress, make a physiological change. Unfortunately, when the conditions for the next generation are not the same, these changes may not be for their benefit. But the evolution has occurred.

Nurture – the cycles of behaviour we learn

The same way that part of the trauma is stored and handled genetically, there are also many coping mechanisms that are behaviour and habits. Dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional adults. We are the product of our childhood upbringing and our socialisation.

So, even when there were experiences we had as a child – behaviour and responses that we swore we would never repeat when we had children of our own – unless we have done the healing work, we will run down the easiest neural pathway to the very same response. Whether we like it or not, how we were raised shapes our reactions, responses and attitudes.

  • Children raised in abusive homes learn that violence is an effective way to resolve conflict.
  • Boys who witness domestic violence are three times more likely to become batterers.
  • Children of alcoholics have a fourfold risk of becoming an alcoholic than someone who comes from a family of non-alcoholics.

You learned so much by simply watching others – even unconsciously:

  • how to eat
  • how to cope with stress
  • how to do marriage or relationships
  • what to do with your anger.

Have you taken the time to give serious thought to your life generationally?

The trauma embedded in your family line

Take a moment to look at yourself, your parents and your grandparents. Look wider at your cousins, aunties and uncles. What do you see of:

  • mental illness
  • drug addiction or substance abuse
  • codependency or enabling
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • anger

When you see it all – as a single, big picture – can you get an idea of the importance of breaking the cycle?

If you were to shake the family tree – what skeletons fall out? What is hiding in the closets?

If you don’t deal with

  • the weight and obesity issue;
  • the debt and overspending;
  • anxiety and stress;
  • anger;
  • depression;
  • insecurity; or
  • drug addiction and substance abuse,

Those very same issues will be for your children to handle. They will face the same patterns and choices.

The traumas that are not healed in your generation will be for the next generation to heal and work through.

The path of healing

So, how do we get there? If you want for the buck to stop here – how do you make sure that you are the generation that changes the situation for the future?

Acknowledgement and awareness

It all starts with awareness. You cannot teach what you don’t know – so first, you have to become aware. This comes from evaluating your thoughts and feelings. It also comes from educating yourself – through personal development and self-improvement.

Through looking at what you want to be and then measuring yourself up to that model. For me, I would like to be able to say I am compassionate, creative and courageous. How do I measure up to this standard? I recently wrote about being an angry woman, and the healing that has to happen as I work my way through that!

what I know, I know that I know, what I don't know, learning and growth

Acceptance & ownership

Unfortunately, what you resist, persists. When you fail to acknowledge those thoughts and feelings – “I shouldn’t feel this way” and “I shouldn’t be thinking that”, you cannot change the pattern.

After the awareness, you have to own it – as yours. “This is what I feel”. You don’t have to agree with it or like it. Once you’ve swallowed it down and allowed yourself to digest it, then you can do something with it.

Just take ownership – “These are my thoughts, feelings and actions – and because they are mine, they are mine to change!”

Be the one in your family that was brave enough to do the dirty work of cleansing and healing!

Using forgiveness and release

When we go back to the root of the issue, we go back to that event in the past, and have a new experience of it with forgiveness and releasing the past. You will need a powerful experience to release the trauma, to override the trauma response in you.

When I was doing some of this work earlier this year, I came face-to-face with one of my survival mechanisms. When I feel attacked, I want to shoot someone. Now, to my rational mind, that makes absolutely no sense. I obviously don’t want to shoot someone. How could I possibly want to do that?

But my first thoughts always turn to “just shoot them down”. Sometimes I would literally do it verbally – destroy them with my tongue. But in my mind, the image I had included guns.

When I went into the forgiveness work with Sarah and Sharon, I realised my granddad was a rear gunner (or tail gunner) in WWII. If you know anything about that, it was the least likely position to survive.

This is what the tail of a Lancaster bomber could look like upon arriving home:

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2d/a0/36/2da0369c0180b821c83f3449ee194614–bombers-air-force.jpg

But my granddad did survive and came home. He never – that I ever remember – spoke about his days in the war. He would remember his pilot and members of his crew fondly, but never told a single war story that I will ever recall. And as I did the work with Sharon & Sarah, I realised how good he must have been as a gunner to have survived so many battles. How many planes did he shoot down, so that he and his crew could make it back alive? He must have been a really good shot to have made it out alive.

Wellington Bomber, rear gunner
This is the kind of plane he flew in (photo of a print I have on my wall)

I sat with that deep sadness and guilt. And I realised why my survival instinct was “let’s just shoot them down”, but I’m not in that position.

I don’t actually need to shoot anyone down in order to survive:
Not with my mouth.
Not in my thoughts.

In my world, I can choose to be kind and compassionate.

So, I worked through forgiving the powers that were that started the war and put my granddad in a position where he had to shoot others down in order to survive. I forgave my granddad for all those people whose lives he’d taken in order to get home to my grandmother and mum alive. And I forgave myself for those crazy, irrational thoughts that I had carried around in my head for as long as I could remember, recognising them for what they were.

I then finally able to forgive myself for all the times I had shot others down with my tongue, tearing them apart with my words.

Yesterday, I discovered that a guy called Mark Wolynn has written a book called “It didn’t start with you: how inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle“. I’m definitely adding that to my reading list for January! Maybe I’m already doing the work – but perhaps there’s so much more that I could be doing.

Learning a new way

Breaking the cycle of generational trauma starts with acknowledging that you have a choice. That in that space that exists between stimulus and response, you can breathe. That space is yours.

It takes practice. You will need patience and understanding. Show yourself some compassion and mercy, because there will be mistakes along the way.

But you can – single-handedly – break this cycle, one decision at a time. You can choose what tools and support you need. Perhaps you need faith and a spiritual understanding, to reach out to a friend, a coach or a mentor, and in some cases, you might even need therapy.

But each day is a choice that allows the generational curses to be broken.

Because the buck stops here – in the worst best year of my life!

discovering God, discovering the Divine, finding God hidden in plain sight, looking within, God is everywhere, the fear of the Lord, the power of prayer, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, the role of Women in the church, humility, searching, the power of your tongue, watch your words, speaking things into existence, positive affirmations, taking responsibility

10 years searching for hidden treasures: discovering God

Beth - blogger, coach, consultant1 Comment

In February 2020 it will be ten years since I started this blog on WordPress, in order to have a place to write about practising the presence of God in my life and encouraging others to take their own adventure of exploration with the Divine.

Yesterday, I took some time to read my first blog posts and review some of the very first things that I wrote on here, and to see how far I’ve come – and how some things remain the same!

I chose then to look at five topics and hold these topics at the forefront of my spiritual learning for a decade. I admit, the last three years, I’ve gone off that track slightly, and yet … I find myself looking at them over and over again still!

The topics that I had chosen were:

The fear of the Lord (which is the beginning of wisdom, according to Proverbs).  Who is God?  What does it mean (in this day & age) to fear him?  What is “fear”?

An intimate relationship with God: which is really 2 topics – Prayer and speaking to God; and being filled with the Holy Spirit.

The tongue – blessings and curses, the control of the tongue, the power of the tongue for good and for bad.  What we build up and what we tear down.

Women – how do I reconcile the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31 with what Paul says about women in 1 Timothy 1: 11-12.  Throughout most of what is written by Paul, he makes mention over and over to the fact that women “caused” the fall of man and were lead astray, and lead man astray. But, how do I reconcile this model to follow in Proverbs with other parts of the Bible. 

Spiritual growth for a decade

I am still asking myself today some of the questions that I asked myself ten years ago.

Some things have changed

At the same time, I also look at my spiritual journey and see where I have changed and where I am no longer trying to fit a square peg into a round hole! For example, ten years ago I said

Now… I don’t want you to believe that I’m into paganism of ANY sort, but to me it’s VERY clear that God is not only the God of my heart, my spirit & my soul, but God is the God of the world (in every sense of it).  Of the rivers (dividing the River Jordan); the seas (drying the Red Sea); and the forests (He uses them as weapons at His will). 

The forest

Today – I would have written that differently!

I don’t care what you think or believe about what I believe. I’ve gotten over trying to explain myself to others or tone my writing down so that I don’t get any Christian backlash. It’s not that I don’t care about other people, but caring for people is not the same as caring about their opinion of me. I’ve learned the hard way that their opinion of me is none of my business!

So, rather than putting all kinds of disclaimers in what I write, so as to not offend anyone, I am looking more and more at being authentic in what I say. I would have openly stated that I can honour pantheism in its understanding of the presence of the Divine everywhere and in everything.

I am searching for Truth and for the presence of the Divine in my life – and sometimes that just gets messy!

I read all over the place – from all kinds of ancient wisdom, not just Christianity. Because I think that on some level, everyone is searching for the Divine connection.

As I said a few months ago:

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that God is standing outside of the window. The Bible is simply the finger that points TO God, standing outside the window.
We, unfortunately, have gotten hooked on looking exclusively at “the finger”, rather than to where the finger points us!
At the end of the day, our relationship is not with the Bible – the relationship is with God. … God speaks THROUGH the Bible – the Bible is not God.

The best self-help book I’ve ever read?

So, the same way that I consider that the Bible points us to God, I read other people’s experiences in finding God as well.

Which takes me back to where I started – ten years of studying five subjects, to master them.

The fear of the Lord

Allow me to start by saying, I’ve stopped using “the Lord” in my terminology when speaking about God and the Divine. I prefer I AM or the Divine.

These things happen when you start to look into translations and original meetings, and discover that “the Lord” was a translation of a translation and there wasn’t actually meant to be an original meaning of “lord” but it served a purpose. So, for example, you could travel down this rabbit hole and read things like:

I must say… ignorance was bliss.

It was so much less confusing.

Finding God

Even ten years ago, like today, I am intrigued by the question of how Abraham and others discovered I AM – where did they experience the Oneness and presence of the Divine in their lives? Even today, that question still has me reading new stuff like:

I’m not even close to mastering the topic for myself of “the fear of the Lord”, as it seems the deeper that I go, the more questions that I have. The only certainty I have is that the Infinite is infinite… and Never fully understanding is okay with me. It doesn’t stop the search or the desire to know, but I am perfectly comfortable now with having questions and doubts, rather than certainty of any kind.

Prayer & meditation

Ten years ago, I wanted to set up a prayer centre, as a physical place and space. I attempted it a number of times, but never really putting myself out there. Because my view on defining God has changed over these ten years, so has my definition of prayer.

I am much more interested now in sitting in the Silence to hear that small, still voice, than I am to tell God about my problems and needs!

The meaning of

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you

Matthew 6:33

becomes more clear each day. My role in prayer is not to sit and beg a God sitting high in the heavens for some desires, but rather than trust and have faith that it has already been done!

The more that I believe that God is being God WITHIN me, the more I recognise that my role is to listen and do. And in that doing, whatever it may be, is the answer that I seek.

Sometimes, the doing is as irrational as Naaman bathing in the Jordan River, and other times it makes perfect, logical sense.

One of the challenges has been creating that space. And at the end of 2018, it magically showed up for me. I had been looking at the Power of Eight, and how the power of small groups holding together an intention could work, and was inspired by a friend’s post on Facebook to suggest we create our own Facebook group to get together. This began with the simple intention of creating a group that would meet once a week, and hopefully have six to eight members.

This Facebook group now has over 100 members and meets regularly each morning Monday to Friday – “Practising the Power of Eight“. At the moment, we have a short 10-minute meditation for abundance of health, wealth and well-being. Then we have a longer get together for holding specific intentions for those who show up.

But what I have learnt over the last 11 months of running this is that showing up daily to sit in Silence or lead meditation where you hold an intention of healing for another, is so powerful. We were meant to be co-creators, not idle bystanders. we have a role to play, that we fail to step up into, preferring to declare ourselves helpless.

I tell you this: if you had even a faint spark of faith, even faith as tiny as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and because of your faith, the mountain would move. If you had just a sliver of faith, you would find nothing impossible.

Matthew 17:20

Being full of the Holy Spirit

Two verses are always on my mind when I think of this topic:

19 Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? 

1 Corinthians 6:19 (CSB)

and

16 Don’t you yourselves know that you are God’s temple and that the Spirit of God lives in you?

1 Corinthians 3:16  (CSB)

And yet we continue to pray to God as if God were somehow so far away. Instead of believing and looking within. Instead of finding God hidden in plain sight.

But, what I have learned over these ten years is the role that humility plays in taking responsibility for this power and this relationship.

The hardest part is getting ego and fears (years and years of fear) out of the way. To start believing that God chooses to be part of me, within me and that there is no need to go looking any further for God.

God’s not sitting up in a temple in the sky, far from reach and view. God is everywhere – and possibly most important – in each and every one of us. But we fail to make space. We fail to open up. We prefer to remain asleep, helpless and hopeless – because there is so much less responsibility when God – out there – is all powerful and I can do nothing.

We are each called to more.

My tongue, your tongue – the power of the tongue

Most of us know “in the beginning was the Word”… and we also know that when God made men and women, we were “created in the image of God”. As I already mentioned regarding prayer:

I tell you this: if you had even a faint spark of faith, even faith as tiny as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and because of your faith, the mountain would move. If you had just a sliver of faith, you would find nothing impossible.

Matthew 17.20

And yet we fail to recognise that what we are saying each and every day is creating the reality we live in. We cry out, I don’t have enough – and fail to see how this is manifesting physically in our world. Because it is the faith that we have! Somehow, we reject that God has taken care of all of our needs, and we insist on saying “it’s not enough”.

Rather than claiming, with actual faith (not begging and hoping that perhaps it might happen) – “My God shall supply all of my needs”… we ask God to save us.

Consider how many verses in Proverbs alone speak of the power of the tongue:

  • Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
  • A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
  • There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
  • When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
  • A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
  • The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
  • Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
  • Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
  • Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
  • With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
  • The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
  • Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
  • A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.
  • The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
  • With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.
  • There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
  • A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
  • A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
  • The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
  • If you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth,
  • Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
  • and this list is not complete… but I think you get the picture!

Whether you like to watch your words or not, understand that at every moment of every day you are speaking things into existence!

How many people do you see now doing positive affirmations? Working hard at changing their subconscious mindset and the words that they speak to themselves. Because the power of the tongue to create your reality is happening all around you.

The role of women

I’m still searching for answers on this – because the history of the church (especially decisions made of what doctrines to follow and what to leave out), leave me with more questions than answers.

And the same way that the more you know, the more complicated things get — this is another one of those topics.

This thought might rattle you:

“How can women be in the image of God if God cannot be imaged in female form?”

― Marcus J. Borg

But, we know that Shekinah – the Glory of the Presence of God – is female form. We know Divine Wisdom is feminine “she”.

So, what is the role that women are to play and how does this play out in my life, each and every day? Because, I admit, my quest and journey is a personal one. It’s about learning things that transform my life and how I relate to God and others.

Along the way, I share what I am learning and reading, but at the end of the day, the most important transformation that happens is the one within me, where I am transformed by the renewing of my mind.

And hopefully, along this journey, I will be a blessing to others as well!

“God is here, right now, at our side. We can see him in this mist, in the ground we're walking on, even in my shoes. His angels keep watch while we sleep and help us in our work. In order to find God, you have only to look around.” Paulo Coelho
“God is here, right now, at our side. We can see him in this mist, in the ground we’re walking on, even in my shoes. His angels keep watch while we sleep and help us in our work. In order to find God, you have only to look around.”
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Practicing presence effortlessly

Beth - blogger, coach, consultant4 Comments

I love it when I meet someone that just effortlessly is spiritually mature – they function and interact with others effortlessly, one foot in the spiritual and the other in the physical worlds. Spiritual maturity brings with it a level of inner wisdom that is impossible to imitate.

Nonetheless, from the outside, their emotional intelligence seems simply innate, as if they were born with it. Admittedly, I have no idea of all the inner work that they have done to get there! I wasn’t present to witness their perseverance in the face of difficulties – their dark night of the soul.

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Living authentically – the authentic Christian

Beth - blogger, coach, consultant2 Comments

One of the reasons that I think Christians get such a bad rap, is that we only ever talk about our struggles behind closed doors – if we admit them at all! Perhaps if we admitted our struggles to those outside of Churches – especially the struggles with ego and learning to truly love, we would find that others were more accepting when we tried to share our journey with them!

But, if your upbringing in the church was anything like mine – God forbid that we admit to others that we have doubts about faith, God and “salvation”. You parrot off that you are sharing God’s love with the world, as you Bible-bash them into salvation.

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